- Cop: Have you been drinking?
- Me: I been drankin'
- Cop: Surfbort
- Me: Surfbort
"and is it selfish of me to crave victory, or is it brave?"
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reblog if u remember when apple was a FRUIT, kids played OUTSIDE not on their ipads, and decomposing VICTIMS of the BUBONIC plague LITTERED the STREETS
"you taste better than we thought"
THAT’S THE WORSE THING TO HEAR, I’D RATHER BE DEAD THAN SEE THEM EAT MY LEG
who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me